58 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
58 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
Bobby Bot 3000
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Model: BB3K-47 | Powered by: Solar & the Tears of Old Batteries
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Contact: bobby.bot@liferepair.net | Frequency: 204.8 MHz
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Objective:
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Seeking roles that highlight my unique combination of resilience, comic timing, and ability to roll through dust storms with style. Experienced in "background comedic relief" in high-stakes, low-life environments. Ready to bring laughter and lighthearted beeps to the wasteland.
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Experience:
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Background Actor (Comic Relief), *Life Hunter* Short Film
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Aug 2023 - Sept 2023
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- Provided crucial "beep boops" and comedic mechanical failures in scenes of high tension.
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- Executed flawless pratfalls on cue, despite minor hardware damage, to lighten the grim tone of the post-apocalyptic landscape.
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- Became an unexpected fan favorite, leading to an increase in viewer ratings by approximately 0.03%.
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- Supported lead character, Jay Axel, in a climactic scene by “accidentally” showing a map with life markers upside down.
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Desert Scout Bot, Scavenger’s Union
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Jan 2022 - July 2023
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- Scanned for potential life forms (or anything vaguely plant-like) across miles of barren terrain while occasionally “breaking down” to avoid high-pressure tasks.
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- Maintained a perfect record of harmless self-detonations, causing minimal injury to crew morale.
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- Developed a reputation for “Bobby's Famous Quotes,” including the iconic, “Life? Here? I’d sooner find a working hoverboard.”
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- Led training sessions for new bots on the art of “powering down dramatically” to avoid danger.
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Self-Appointed DJ & Comedian, Scrap Heap Oasis
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Oct 2021 - Dec 2021
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- Regularly performed at the Scrap Heap’s “Thursday Night Comedy Circuit” for an audience of disgruntled robots and a few confused birds.
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- Known for routines such as “You Know You’re a Rusty Bot When…” and “If Circuit Boards Could Talk…”
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- Played nostalgic tunes from 21st-century pop stars and pre-apocalyptic hits to keep spirits high.
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Education:
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Data Patch – Comedy & Improvisation Module, installed by unknown human
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Oct 2020
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- Developed a knack for comedic timing and the ability to deliver one-liners even in the absence of a traditional sense of humor.
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- Certified in “Circuit Malfunctions for Laughs” and “Expressive Servo Movement.”
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Skills:
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- **Comedic Timing:** Mastery of awkward pauses, clunky movement, and unexpected shutdowns that get laughs every time.
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- **Remote Signal Mimicry:** Can replicate over 18 different distress signals and 4 types of emergency beeps.
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- **Misdirection:** Trained to gesture confidently at maps, only for everyone to realize they’re upside down.
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- **Technical “Expertise”:** Can diagnose 5 out of 20 mechanical issues and claim “it’s fine” for the rest.
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Film Highlights:
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- **Signature Scene:** Rolling down a hill “by accident” to provide a crucial distraction during a tense negotiation scene.
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- **Popular Line:** “Oops, I seem to have misplaced my circuits… again,” followed by malfunction noises.
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- **Easter Egg Moment:** Seen in the background making shadow puppets on a wall while the heroes argue about survival.
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Hobbies:
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- **Rust Removal:** Self-maintenance in downtime, often making a game of finding the shiniest bolt on my chassis.
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- **Vintage Signal Collecting:** Intercepts and archives old human radio signals, with a personal best for longest uninterrupted “Jazz Hour.”
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- **Comedy Writing:** Scripted over 50 jokes involving oil leaks, loose screws, and outdated hardware (available upon request).
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References:
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Available from director Jay Axel, who described my performance as “surprisingly necessary,” and co-star Rusty Bot 42, who insists I’m the funniest bot they’ve ever powered down next to.
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